Charles’ Story: Finding My Worth to God

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Before I began Restore, I felt as though I didn’t matter. I had spent my life feeling as though I was worthless, and it affected every part of my being.

I didn’t think I was attractive. I had been overweight. When good things were coming my way, I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. This feeling came from how my parents and my ex-wife consistently treated me. I didn’t feel as though they ever listened to me or valued who I was. I felt like they only heard what I said when it was relayed to them by a third party. It wasn’t just that they didn’t listen to me though, it was also that they consistently showed me I didn’t matter, by not really celebrating me on my birthday. My parents were gone a lot on my birthday and my ex-wife rarely got me cards, gifts or did anything special to celebrate me on my birthday.

Going through Restore has shown me some powerful things about who I really am. It has shown me that I truly do matter, because God willingly left heaven to experience what I experience on a daily basis to show me He loves me. Not only did He leave perfection to live a substitutionary life for me, He was willing to go through the most extreme pain the world has ever known, just to restore His relationship with me.

Jesus had a truly deep and intimate relationship with Our Father, something that I cannot grasp or understand. I love someone immensely, but this is nothing compared to what Jesus feels with Our Creator. It is much more intimate than I could ever have with my love or any other human being, including my children.

I am currently separated from the four people I love most in this world, and it is painful. I didn’t choose this separation. Yet, Jesus willingly separated from the most intimate relationship history has ever known when He went to the Cross. This was the most painful thing that anyone has ever gone through, and Jesus did it for me. He did it so that I could have eternal life with Him. He did it to restore my life with Him. He did it because He loves me, and if He loves me that much, I truly do matter and I matter to the most important person this world has ever known. God taught me that truth while I was going through Restore.

He has also shown me that He is with me and protecting me and has my entire life. He has placed people and situations in my life to show me how important I am to Him. Even how I got into Restore shows how He is protecting and watching over me. In January, I knew that I needed to make some changes in my life. I needed to get back to church and go to therapy. While in Florida, my love was talking to some of her friends, and one of her friends raved about her “spiritual mother” in Washington. My love asked me if I wanted her number, and I did. I reached out to this “spiritual mother” who, because of COVID, was willing to try treating someone on the other end of the country. During one of our first meetings, I told her about this new church I was going to. Later that week, she felt led to research the church and found the Restore class. She did some research into it and when we next spoke, suggested I apply for the next session which was starting in February. After that session I did and was accepted into this program. Realizing how God placed everything into place at the exact moments and me being willing to listen and trust Him is one of the ways that He has consistently shown me that He is in control. He knows what is best for me and He will give it to me when I am best able to receive it.

God is still teaching me to trust and rely upon Him. He recently asked me to give up my love so that I can focus on Him more. This was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made, especially considering that I believe that He gave me this beautiful Christian woman to spend the rest of my life with. This was the thought I felt when I first met her and what I still believe today, even though I have not spoken to her in several weeks and have a couple of more weeks to go before this fast is over. Although this is extremely painful for me, He is teaching me and showing me that I can rely upon Him. He is teaching me to focus more on Him and not on what this world thinks. He has opened other doors for me during this time and I know He will continue to show me the way. I just need to truly be open to trusting and believing in Him and His promises.

He hasn’t failed me and never will. He loves me and wants only what is best for me. He is continuing to show me this. He alone is perfect and so is His timing. I am still learning this and am grateful that He loves me enough to show me His way.

- Charles Christopher, KY


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One Man’s Story: Emotionless to Experiencing God’s Love

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Elise’s Story: Seeing How God Sees Me